“You are beginning to damage my calm.”

It’s been a rollercoaster past the past few years.  Lost everything, rebuild, hit speed bumps & potholes, run in the fast lane for miles, get super speeder ticket.  To catch you up since I suck at blogging when things are going good, things have been moving relatively well.

In 2013, I embarked on the path to owning a home again.  I had several obstacles that I knew of – bankruptcy & no down payment, but that was not going to stop me.  My credit score has hovering near 700.  Living large.  I got pre-approved for a loan (forgot the original amount) & went house hunting.  So in a matter of 3 months from the start, found a house, finalized the deal, and now I am a homeowner again.

The boost to the bottom line has been awesome.  My mortgage was $200 more a month than rent, but the tax advantages outweighed the costs.  Between the property taxes & the mortgage interest, I have reduced my overall effective federal tax rate from 19% to 15% & similar reduction in my effective state tax.

Life is good.

Or was.  I am entering a new phase apparently.  Couple weeks ago – I got the news I am a part of my company’s downsizing.  Long story short, we lost a major client that accounts for a major part of our revenue.  The company I work for was also bought in 2012.  While this hiccup is bad, the net impact to our local office is less than 7% of revenue at the end of the day.  The new owners are using this as an excuse to purge a number of the old timers.  I apparently am one of those people.

Good news is that I will get severance.  Bad news is I have no idea how much.  This is making my normal planning self unable to determine what the game plan is other than get my job search going & reduce expenses.  My resume is up to date now.  Satellite package has been cut to bare bones, and I investigating being a cord cutter.  Calling everyone’s favorite cable internet provider to discuss deals.  Trying to figure out the oldest kid’s college tuition situation.  I’ll admit I am overwhelmed trying to get my bearings on this.

Over the next few weeks, I will be scrambling, and I will bring you along for the ride.  Should be fun.  Right???

Took a gamble

So after 3 years with my $200 used washer/dryer set, they were finally dying.  The dryer had one temperature, hell, but wouldn’t dry anything in under 1-2 hours.  The washer was in much worse shape.  The tub would drain faster than it would fill up when running a cold cycle, and running warm cycle would keep the water level constant.  In order to do a load of wash, I had to have my 1 man firemen’s brigade to fill up the tub using my large soup pot for both the wash and the rinse cycle.  And to top it off, the motor would sporadically stop agitating the clothes requiring additional cycles for the same load.  This all started last summer, and I limped along saving money where I could for a new set.  I just couldn’t bring my self to resurrect the 2 not knowing how much it would cost to fix

So on December 31, armed with savings & money from the meager Christmas bonus from my company, I went shopping.  After looking at my choices in my price range with all the in store sale prices  & the various reviews of said models, I had to figure out what my options would be.  I talked to the sales guy, who of course, said apply for the no interest financing.  At this point, what was a 10 point ding for an inquiry.  Lo & behold, I was approved for $2,000 in credit with 0% financing for 18 months!  I honestly was very skeptical that this would have flown, but who am I to argue?

So now what?  The card actually helps my total credit available & once the balance is paid off, this should help the overall credit score.  And,  more importantly wash day has been made much easier!  I know I should focus more on the financial health of my household than the household itself, but sometimes it’s the little things!

Bad news, good news

So I got the answer to my mortgage application. A foreclosure prevents me from getting approved for at least 3 years. So I have to wait until September 2012 before I can apply on my own. I am stil moving forward on looking for a home thanks to my brother & his wife. We are investigating if they can purchase a home, and then rent it to me. If we can do an assumable loan, then I might be able transfer the mortgage to me next year. They are meeting with a real estate attorney next week to see if that and any other options are available.

In the process of applying I got my credit score through Equifax. I was up to 669! It would have come in higher but my utilization of my one $700 credit limit card was at 65%. I paid it off and received updated scores from Credit Karma & Quizzle of 678 and 701, respectively. still not great compared to what my scores were before bankruptcy, but not bad considering the the discharge & foreclosure was 23 months ago.

For now, I’ll keep plugging along and wait patiently for the results of my brother’s meeting with their attorney next week. Fingers crossed!

I suck at blogging…

I’m lazy about certain things. I don’t like going through the mail. Everything arrives via email or online banking. The only mailbox contains ads, more ads, and ads. So I miss an occasional graduation notice. No big deal right? Blogging appears to be another task that I am able to duck easily. But I promise to get better at this, unless that mail pile is about to fall over.

Just a mini-update. It’s been over a year since the divorce was finalized. My ex continues to prove that she is not able to live in the adult world. I will add a post on this in a few days. My credit score seems to have leveled out at 650-ish from the 3 different credit bureaus.  On a positive note, I may be buying a house this summer.  I talked to a mortgage broker yesterday, and he didn’t laugh his ass off at me.  I may be pre-approved for $500 at 12% interest, but at least it’s a start.

That’s it for today.  This summer is shaping up to be an interesting one – so many opportunities have presented themselves that I am actually stumped on where to begin.  Stay tuned for details…

Divorce is finally final!!! Now on to administrative bullshit

So April 15, 2010, may suck for many people but it will be my own personal independence day. Well, it still suck for me as well but at least this is the date my divorce was finally final.

Leading up to this day was filled with some lows and some highs. I had originally given my soon to be ex-wife a settlement offer back in November. She argued every financial part of it. However, cheating precluded her from seeking alimony & the child support amount was calculated via a spreadsheet. She basically had nothing to negotiate regarding that. But that did not stop her from trying. At the end of the day, she was eligible for $1,780 per month in child support.

After months of telling her we were done she kept coming back to the fact she could not exist on what I was offering. I was insistent that working for the major retail chain was not going to cut it. She makes $8.95/hour and averages 25 hours a week.

Now, a month & half out from the divorce, we’re still trying to get the administrative bullshit completed.  She finally is on her own cell phone plan & the QDRO for one of my 401k accounts is in process (that’ll be a post on its own).  The big sticking point is her car.  I signed the title over to her on April 30th, but she has yet to go to the county tax office to complete the transfer.  At this point, she is 30 days past the sale date, and will likely incur penalties and/or additional fees.  As my new motto goes, it’s not my problem anymore.

The bad news is that she has yet to get auto insurance set up, so I’m in a bit of quandary of what to do.  I can cut her off & say it’s not my problem anymore.  The reality of this is, while satisfying being a dick, she still has to truck the kids around too.  What is a schmuck to do?

But the bottom line is the divorce is final.  Hallelujah.

Interesting article about DIY bankruptcy

Saw this article today – http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/learn-file-bankruptcy-united-states-online/.  While having gone through the whole process, and seeing it first hand, I don’t think I would be willing to navigate.  But at least it provides links to additional information about the bankruptcy process.

So that was not as painful as I thought

It’s been almost a year since my soon-to-be ex (STBX) & I split our finances.  Since then, I’ve been paying $2,100 to 2,200/month in “child support”.   Before I moved out, she was supposed to save the money (which she didn’t – don’t get me started on that again).  After I moved out, it was child support because she was getting a full-time job (which she didn’t – don’t get me started on that again).  Anyway, due to my schmuckness, I never reduced the monthly amount to her even after I figured out the child support she was owed was $400/month less.

So last night, I took control of the situation.  I told her that child support was a calculated number as determined by the state, and it was what it was.  Effective 3/1, she is getting $1,780/month.  However, she still owes me $600 from her bad recordkeeping incident over the past month and a half.  Not sure I’ll ever see that again, but it is a small price to pay for my sanity….

Seriously? Really? You’ve got to be kidding me.

So Thursday night, I give my STBX (soon-to-be ex) half of the month’s child support (paid 2x month).  She proceeds to tell me that she is 2 months late on her life insurance, water, chiropractor, etc., and she still had to pay the natural gas & phone company from the foreclosed house each $100.  She paid the bills prior to actually getting the child support.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, she had borrowed just over $900 to make it through January.  I deducted $100 from her child support, leaving a balance of $600 owed to me.

So with all those past due bills & debt, I found out she went a trivia night the previous Tuesday.  Her dinner out cost $20.  I’m not sure she had that much at the time.  I was a put out about that.  After she paid all the bills she could with Friday’s payment, she told me had $100 leftover until next payday/child support payment.  So what does she do yesterday?  She gets her hair done.  A friend does her hair, and she doesn’t charge the full amount, but it’s still about $70.  And if that wasn’t bad enough, her and one of her BFFs went out last night so she could show off her new hair do.  Really?  Seriously?

So one would think, could it get worse?  Unfortunately, yes.  Turns out the part-time retail job she has had cut back her hours since the holidays.  She is lucky to be scheduled 27 hours a week, mostly in the evenings.  One would also think that with free time during the day, she could search for a job, whether it is something more stable or another part-time job to supplement her income.  One would be wrong.  Her day is filled with “decompressing” from the hectic work schedule.  Fortunately, the tanning salon she still pays for & goes to also has hydration beds to help her relax.  Not sure how much it actually costs her, but the salon membership is at least $200/year, and the hydration bed is around $10/session.  I figure that her relaxation expenses run between $70-$100/month.

So one would think, it can’t get any worse than that right?  Well, unfortunately it does.  Next week, she is scheduled to work only 6 hours.  6 hours at $8.25/hour.  Her response?  “It’ll work out.”   Except that the one who normally makes it work out (me), is done being a schmuck.  I will help the kids where it is needed, but no more enabling a selfish, self-centered person.  Sigh.

Met with my attorney today

Just a quick update.  Met with my attorney to revise the settlement agreement.  We have reviewed the soon to be ex’s (STBX) version, and made changes.  The highlights were I’m offering $1,780/month, not naming her as beneficiary on my life insurance, and striking the clause that states I’m on the hook to pay college costs.  I will make sure the kids get to college, but I can’t let her dictate how that’s going to be done.

On a side note, her child support is due Friday.  She had to borrow over $900 to make it through the past few weeks.  She can only replay $100 this time.  Plus the $300 she paid back last time, she still owes me $600.  I’m thinking it’s doubtful I’ll ever see that last amount…  On the plus side, I told her no to borrowing more money.  Baby steps…

Some lessons are never learned…

I have to admit that a lot of the financial problems me & my soon to be ex (STBX) were not all her fault.  For many years, we enjoyed the good life, and I generally got raises/bonuses that helped to “justify” our spending patterns.  Near the end however, the handwriting was on the wall.  My requests to get back on a budget & cut our spending were ignored.  What I didn’t know at the time, my STBX was plotting her grand escape from the marriage.  Since we had a ton of debt, I am assuming her thought process was to file bankruptcy so that we would have a “clean” break.

As I said earlier, bankruptcy was one of the most embarrassing & humiliating experiences I have ever endured.  A close second was watching the whole foreclosure process unwind.  Both of these events have made me very aware of every dime I have and spend.  While I may not be fully on a budget yet, I am tracking my expenses like I should have been doing the entire time.  I will admit that an oversight in record keeping caused me to have a -$6 balance in my checking account, which incurred at $25 overdraft fee.  Or, as Dave Ramsey calls it, a stupid tax.

My STBX, however, has not learned anything.  At all.  I tell you this for two reasons – 1) Let her decisions serve as a lesson, and 2) While sad, I can’t help but laugh a little.  I know that sounds mean, but throughout our marriage, I balanced the checkbook & would let her know where we stood.  I would inform her that we would have $800 until the next payday.  She would go to the ATM to look at the balance & see that we had $2,000.  Her response – “why do you lie about how much we have?”  I would then try to explain to her the basics of cash flow.  Out of the $2,000, $1,200 allocated for mortgage, car payments, utilities, etc.  No how much I tried to explain that in a week, bills would be paid, and the checking account would be at $800, she did not believe me.

So flash forward to last spring.  At the beginning of our separation & prior to filing for bankruptcy, I opened my own checking account.  Why?  We were separated.  She was spending money that we didn’t have.  And I was having a hard time paying the utilities.  So to ensure that we were able to keep the lights on, the house heated and/or cooled, have food, have gas & running cars, I decided to pay the STBX a monthly amount of half of what was left over after all household bills had been paid plus 1/2 of the budgeted food bill.  This figure worked out to be $2,200/month.  I can hear you say, “That’s a lot of scratch!”  Yes, yes it was.  From March 2009 through August 2009, I paid her that much a month.  I offered to send a portion to her mother so that it could be put into savings as $2,200 month should cover groceries & her car upkeep (gas, oil changes, etc.) with plenty to bank for her post-divorce life.  She told me she would save the money herself.  Did I mention I was a schmuck?

From that point until August, I figure I gave her around $20,000.  In cash.  One would think that would be enough money to save for a new life & any incidentals.  Right?  Boy I was wrong.  The day I told her I was moving out to my own place, she asked if she could borrow $800.  It seems her transmission died, and she only had $90 in her checking account.  I found out later that she had to borrow $2,000 from her mother.  All that money pissed away.  On what?  No clue.  Clothes?  Tanning bed?  Lunches? Dinners?  Drinks?  My guess?  All of the above, and then some.  I don’t I will ever know what all has bought.  I should have a clue – over the summer, her bank had sent numerous overdraft notices.  Since she wanted independence over her finances, I guess I just didn’t care to know the true details.

So flash forward to 2 days before Christmas.  I get a phone call from the STBX.  Crying.  Seems she had overdrawn her account.  It was sitting at -$304 for 7 overdrawn items.  Her paycheck was only $311.  And her rent was due on the 26th in the amount of $800.  And she wasn’t getting paid again until 12/31 from both work & child support.  So, she asked to borrow $800.  Like a good schmuck, I agreed.  I asked her if she wanted the check to be made out to her or her landlord.  See, I knew that her account had stopped processing payments until money was deposited, then held items would be sent through.  I explained this to her, knowing that she would have to keep making her own financial choices.  Well, she did the obvious – she took a check from me to deposit.  The money went into the account, and there was a great sucking sound.  Seems that the account was actually overdrawn by $700.

In order to not be late on her rent, she decided to talk to her landlord on Christmas Eve to see if the rent could be due on the 1st of the month so it would coincide with the child support check.  Luckily he agreed.  And she had $100 to make it to pay day.

The End.

Hahahahahahahaha – Fooled you!  Of course that’s not the end.  So her account was sitting at $100, her bills needed to be paid, her rent was coming up, and she was running low on gas & food.  And was still a week away from payday.  She did the only logical, rational thing she could do.   The day after Christmas, she went out to a nice restaurant for dinner, dancing, and drinks.  The following Monday, she logged onto her checking account, and guess what?  Her account was overdrawn by $100.  No, really, it was.  I received yet another phone call from her, in tears.  This time I wrote a check directly to her landlord for $800, and payday came & she had money again.

The End

Hahahahahahahaha – Fooled you again!  Turns out she went negative again.  While I’m not sure this is related, she did go out to dinners a couple nights, bought an iTunes card because she needed music, went to the tanning bed, and God knows what else.  Over the next couple of weeks, I took her to Wal-Mart to buy groceries for the week & paid for numerous kid expenses.  The kid expenses – not so concerned about.  It’s things the kids needed and should have come from the child support money, but it didn’t.  I really don’t expect to get the money back for these items – but I’m happy field trips & sports are paid for this spring.

So where do I stand today?  Well, payday is this Friday.  Things seem to have calmed down, though I think there may be a recent overdraft issue in the past few days.  I got a phone call yesterday from her asking if she could borrow $50.  As she had borrowed over $900 during the past few weeks, I decided to draw the line.  Yes sports fans, this schmuck is putting his foot down.  I made a promise to myself that I would no longer pay money early/load/whatever you want to call it never again.  You see, I’m in recovery.

The End.  Really.