I suck at blogging…

I’m lazy about certain things. I don’t like going through the mail. Everything arrives via email or online banking. The only mailbox contains ads, more ads, and ads. So I miss an occasional graduation notice. No big deal right? Blogging appears to be another task that I am able to duck easily. But I promise to get better at this, unless that mail pile is about to fall over.

Just a mini-update. It’s been over a year since the divorce was finalized. My ex continues to prove that she is not able to live in the adult world. I will add a post on this in a few days. My credit score seems to have leveled out at 650-ish from the 3 different credit bureaus.  On a positive note, I may be buying a house this summer.  I talked to a mortgage broker yesterday, and he didn’t laugh his ass off at me.  I may be pre-approved for $500 at 12% interest, but at least it’s a start.

That’s it for today.  This summer is shaping up to be an interesting one – so many opportunities have presented themselves that I am actually stumped on where to begin.  Stay tuned for details…

So that was not as painful as I thought

It’s been almost a year since my soon-to-be ex (STBX) & I split our finances.  Since then, I’ve been paying $2,100 to 2,200/month in “child support”.   Before I moved out, she was supposed to save the money (which she didn’t – don’t get me started on that again).  After I moved out, it was child support because she was getting a full-time job (which she didn’t – don’t get me started on that again).  Anyway, due to my schmuckness, I never reduced the monthly amount to her even after I figured out the child support she was owed was $400/month less.

So last night, I took control of the situation.  I told her that child support was a calculated number as determined by the state, and it was what it was.  Effective 3/1, she is getting $1,780/month.  However, she still owes me $600 from her bad recordkeeping incident over the past month and a half.  Not sure I’ll ever see that again, but it is a small price to pay for my sanity….

Seriously? Really? You’ve got to be kidding me.

So Thursday night, I give my STBX (soon-to-be ex) half of the month’s child support (paid 2x month).  She proceeds to tell me that she is 2 months late on her life insurance, water, chiropractor, etc., and she still had to pay the natural gas & phone company from the foreclosed house each $100.  She paid the bills prior to actually getting the child support.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, she had borrowed just over $900 to make it through January.  I deducted $100 from her child support, leaving a balance of $600 owed to me.

So with all those past due bills & debt, I found out she went a trivia night the previous Tuesday.  Her dinner out cost $20.  I’m not sure she had that much at the time.  I was a put out about that.  After she paid all the bills she could with Friday’s payment, she told me had $100 leftover until next payday/child support payment.  So what does she do yesterday?  She gets her hair done.  A friend does her hair, and she doesn’t charge the full amount, but it’s still about $70.  And if that wasn’t bad enough, her and one of her BFFs went out last night so she could show off her new hair do.  Really?  Seriously?

So one would think, could it get worse?  Unfortunately, yes.  Turns out the part-time retail job she has had cut back her hours since the holidays.  She is lucky to be scheduled 27 hours a week, mostly in the evenings.  One would also think that with free time during the day, she could search for a job, whether it is something more stable or another part-time job to supplement her income.  One would be wrong.  Her day is filled with “decompressing” from the hectic work schedule.  Fortunately, the tanning salon she still pays for & goes to also has hydration beds to help her relax.  Not sure how much it actually costs her, but the salon membership is at least $200/year, and the hydration bed is around $10/session.  I figure that her relaxation expenses run between $70-$100/month.

So one would think, it can’t get any worse than that right?  Well, unfortunately it does.  Next week, she is scheduled to work only 6 hours.  6 hours at $8.25/hour.  Her response?  “It’ll work out.”   Except that the one who normally makes it work out (me), is done being a schmuck.  I will help the kids where it is needed, but no more enabling a selfish, self-centered person.  Sigh.

Met with my attorney today

Just a quick update.  Met with my attorney to revise the settlement agreement.  We have reviewed the soon to be ex’s (STBX) version, and made changes.  The highlights were I’m offering $1,780/month, not naming her as beneficiary on my life insurance, and striking the clause that states I’m on the hook to pay college costs.  I will make sure the kids get to college, but I can’t let her dictate how that’s going to be done.

On a side note, her child support is due Friday.  She had to borrow over $900 to make it through the past few weeks.  She can only replay $100 this time.  Plus the $300 she paid back last time, she still owes me $600.  I’m thinking it’s doubtful I’ll ever see that last amount…  On the plus side, I told her no to borrowing more money.  Baby steps…

Post 341 hearing decompression done – now I can talk about it…

So the 341 hearing was done last Monday.  After 60 days, I hope to receive the discharge notice.  And during the next 45 days, my soon-to-be ex-spouse & I need to attend a credit counseling course to teach us the ways not to get in the same shape again.  The paralegal for our attorney will help us through this next stage.  If we don’t complete within 45 days, we have to start all over.  Based on the experience of the hearing, I don’t want to go back.

The hearing itself lasted maybe 5 minutes.  We arrived at the federal courthouse an hour early per hour attorney’s recommendation.  The purpose was to A) get there, B) find the hearing room, & C) watch other folks go through the crap & see what the trustee would ask.  Our hearing was scheduled for 1:30 p.m., but the first group of afternoon hearings started at 1:00 p.m.  Each 30 minute block had 5-6 folks scheduled.

During each hearing for each debtor, the trustee asked the following type of questions:

• Are you the person who filed?  We had to bring proof that we were who we said were – picture ID (drivers license) & proof of Social Security Number (Social Security card or W-2)
• Did you file the most recent federal tax return?
• If you got a refund, what was the amount & has it been received already?
• Did you file the bankruptcy papers & are you familiar with the details?
• Are you entitled to any settlements due to auto accident or personal injury?
• Are you entitled to any child support or alimony payments?
• Do you have any inheritances or insurance proceeds coming to you?
• Do you own any other properties other than your primary residence?
• Have you made any payments over $600 to anyone other than your mortgage?
• Do you own any stocks not in an IRA or 401(k)?

The purpose of the questions were to a certain if you had anything of interest that the trustee could use.  Why is that you ask?  Turns out that the trustee is actually an attorney that is contracted by the government to see if there assets or sources of money to take so that creditors can be paid.  If he can get any money of you, then he gets a commission of 5-7% of whatever he can recover.  If you have nothing, then move along – nothing to see.

While we sat there & watched the 1:00 session, we saw how he operated.  He went through the filings & asked questions wherever he saw something that peaked his interest.  One couple owned a cement pouring business,  He questioned them about the number of jobs the guy had completed over the past year (4), how much he netted for each (not much), and the equipment he owned (1 mixer for $27k, with an outstanding loan of $25k).  Not sure what would have happened if he owned the the equipment outright – would the trustee have taken it?  Not sure…

Once he went through those types of questions, he would then ask the gallery if any creditors were present that would like to make a claim or ask questions of the debtor.  While we were there, only 1 creditor actually showed up.  Once that piece of the hearing was complete, then the hearing was over.

At 1:30, our session began.  We were fourth on his docket.  Ours went pretty much the same as everyone else’s that we saw.  There was one moment when things seemed to be going wrong.  In reviewing our budget, he saw that my income was above the the basic means test level.  In order to qualify under the basic means test, you have to earn less than the median wage for the U.S.  I’m not sure what the exact amount was, but we were above it.  Because of this, we had to go through an alternative (and more difficult) test.  As soon as that was noticed, the trustee reviewed our B-12 schedule.  This is where the panic set in.

He basically questioned why we had to file bankruptcy.  Our lawyer stepped in at that point and helped guide us through that.  At the very end, we were approved… barely.

By far, this was one of the most grueling, stressful, humiliating experiences I’ve had to go through so far in my life.  And it took 5 minutes.

Overall Timeline

As near as I can tell, filing Chapter 7 is going to be a black mark on my credit history for 10 years.  My future ex-spouse does not see this as an issue, but she has never worried about interest rates, deposits on utilities, etc.  And the road for that 10+ years is just beginning….

We have our 341 hearing on Monday June 8th.  This is the meeting where the bankruptcy trustee & our creditors get to hear our sob story.  We’ve been told that after this process, it will take 60 days to discharge the debts, which is August 8th.  For some reason, the house does not fall under the bankruptcy hearing per se.  It helped in the means test, but it is not included in the filing.  Which means due to the amount of child support I’m facing, I can’t afford the mortgage.  In addition, my soon to be ex-spouse won’t be able to afford it either.  So we are walking away from the house.

We just got notice from the mortgage company that we are 3 months in arrears.  Not sure when the foreclosure process will start.  I will leave the house before it the bank takes it away.  The wife will probably stay until she has to leave since she has no job (and has no desire to find a job) and does not want to start paying rent somewhere.

Anyway, after the debts are discharged, then the divorce can be finalized.  I hope all this will be resolved by end of August or early September.

Once all of this is done, then I can truly start over.  I am reaffirming the debt on my car in hopes that this will help showing a positive impact on my credit history.  In addition to keeping the car loan, I have opened an account at a credit union. Supposedly, I will be able to get a load through the credit union easier than a mega bank, whether it’s for for a car, a house, or short term loans.  The stratey that I will start with is to take out small loans & repay them quickly.  This will hopefully bump up my credit score faster.

I plan to start tracking my FICO score at http://www.myfico.com & will plot my progress.  Very curious to see how low my score goes.  Currently it’s at 680 as of a couple months ago.  It’s about time for the quarterly update.  I am in the process of researching different ways to boost my credit score.  One of my goals is to be able to get back into a house within 2-3 years without having to pay a a super high interest rate.

But the fact that it will take 10 years to get the bankruptcy off of my record.  Not only will this impact any loans & credit card I may get, but I have also found out that with employers doing more background checks these days, Any change in a job at this point has become infinitely more difficult.  2 out of 3 former colleagues have told me that their current companies would exclude me from their hiring pool.  The other friend said their company would hire  someone with a Chapter 7 on their permanent record if it was explained up front.

What a wild strange ride it will be….