It’s been 3 months since the last update, so what the hell is going on?

So looking back, it’s been just over 3 months since my last post.  I am a bad blogger it seems.  But I really haven’t had much to say since then.  Well I haven’t had much I could say.  My financial situation has been fairly static since the bankruptcy was discharged.  There hasn’t really been much change in my credit scores.  While they are horrendous, they are still in the 625-674 range depending on the reporting agency.  Most of the activity in my life has been on the divorce front.

So what’s up with the divorce?  Not much, unfortunately.  My court date was supposed to be November 5th.  There were a couple of things that had to happen.  First, my soon to be ex-wife (STBX) & I had to attend a state-mandated parenting class.  Overall it wasn’t bad.  While most of the information was stuff I had read (don’t bash the ex in front of the kids, reassure the kids you love them & it’s not their fault, don’t be an ass, etc.), there were some good info.  It cost $50 to attend, and it was actually worth it, in my opinion.  Go figure, I support something the guvmint mandated.  Second, we had to agree on the settlement terms.  That didn’t go well.   “What happened?” you ask?  Well, I’ll tell you…

The state has a worksheet that determines the amount of child support owed to the primary custodial parent.  It’s a cut & dried process, and fairer than the old days when it seemed the amount was whatever the judge felt like.  The bottom line is that if I plug in my salary & my STBX’s salary, I arrive at a number around $1,700/month.  My STBX’s calculation results in $2,100/month.  So why the $400 discrepancy you ask?  Well, I’ll tell you…

It seems that my STBX assumed that I would receive a bonus this year in the amount of $18,000, and that she only earns $75/month.  The only issues with this is that my company has never paid me an $18,000 bonus (actually much less than this), and she earns probably $1,000/month.  hence, my calculation is a bit lower.    This difference has been the a big pain in the ass.  My STBX has stated that she needs $2,100/month from me so that she can live.  The problem is she won’t work for at a job she she should be qualified for.  She earns $8.25/hour and claims that’s the only job she can get.  Therefore, I should step up & make up the difference in her budget.  So, instead of going to court with a settlement in hand, we had to cancel our court date.

Her attorney has informed my attorney that she will not settle for an amount less than $2,100/month.  After a few back & forths, my STBX’s attorney stated that alimony is the only solution.  In my state, if a spouse cheats, then he/she is barred from asking for alimony.  I filed for divorce on the grounds of numerous counts of adultery on her part.  Where this goes from here, I have no clue.  I am unwilling to pay alimony & to continue enabling my wife.  One of our big issues all through out our marriage was money management.  After filing for bankruptcy, I am finally back on a budget.  My STBX, not so much.  Each month, there appears to be some crisis in her life, and she has to ask for an advance on the money I have been giving her.  Just today, she asked for $250 for stuff until the next payment.  While I don’t mind helping, I did find out that she was planning a girl’s night out this weekend.  So no cash for the everyday expenses, but she does have money to go out and drink.  Needless to say, I am pissed.  But what is a schmuck to do?

So in addition to the divorce decree being deferred indefinitely, our house was foreclosed on at the beginning of November.  i knew this was coming, and I thought I was prepared for it.  I was completely wrong  It was an extremely painful, gut wrenching experience.  I had moved out of the house back in August & I had removed my belongings.  In the week leading up to the foreclosure, I made trips back to the house to get anything that had been left behind.  Each time I walked into the house, I cried.  Not just for the loss of the house, but the things that had been left behind that belonged to the kids.  My STBX works 2nd shift in retail.  She is home during the day.  I’m not sure what thought process she went through, but so much was left that was/is important to our kids.  The kids mementos, toys, and treasured possessions were still there.  I found my son’s laptop, my daughter’s Flip camera, gifts from family, etc.  It was bad.  For a week, I went by after work & packed their stuff that was left behind.

Long story short, the bank foreclosed & changed the locks on the house.  Financially, I have nothing except for the items I moved from the house, my clothes, and my car.  I am truly rebuilding from the ground up.

While this all sucks, it hasn’t been all bad.  My STBX works until 11 p.m. most nights.  While she is working, I watch the kids (another story for another post).  We’re having a blast – I may have missed out moments with them over the past years (another story for another post), we’re now having fun.

The other news I have gotten is that I now have a credit card just 3 months after bankruptcy was discharged.  I received an offer from a bank that I was pre-approved for a $700 credit limit on an unsecured card.  My credit union had denied my a secured credit card about a month ago even though my credit report showed I should have been approved.  Getting this card is another step in rebuilding my credit history.  The downside is that the company is a parasite.  While I have a limit of $700, the initial fees are $175, which reduces my credit limit by that amount.  After this, there’s a $175/year fee, and they will nickle and time everything – credit increases will require $50-100 charges, internet access to the account will cost $4, breathing costs $1 per breath, etc.  But that’s what I have to do to start over.

Well, that’s it for now.  I am working on being more diligent about stuff that I need  do.  I hope to start updating more frequently.  I figure next week I’ll get all 3 credit scores directly from the reporting agencies.  While I can get estimated scores from sites, there appear to be discrepancies.

TTFN,

Recovering Schmuck